The words ‘Falun Gong’ saddened my heart when my daughter began to practice four years ago. As my faith was steeped in tradition and blind acceptance I could not see or understand why she should take such a pathway. The thought was beyond contemplation. The sadness deepened as she hugged me one day, and with tears rolling down her cheeks told me, and her father, that she would no longer attend church with us. Yet, through my sadness I felt her strength and her gentle determination to express her deep compassion for us, and that she understood and respected our way of thinking and feeling. At that point, I understood the truth and my heart began to change.
I occasionally practiced the exercises with her and thought them to be very good. Although I hadn’t read the book, I listened to whatever she said with respect and interest. She told me about the importance of following one pathway, and in my heart I knew that to be true. At that stage I had no idea that I would be tested on that resolve.
My test came when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and that I had to undergo a major operation. A week before I underwent the operation I was contemplating reading a book on how to cope with early breast cancer when my daughter arrived (she was living away from home at the time). We chatted and had a pleasant time. Then before she left, she placed Zhuan Falun on the table and casually suggested that I may wish to read it sometime (I hadn’t told her what I was thinking before she came). Then, at that point my heart changed even more and I chose to read Zhuan Falun. After I read it, I knew that I had to follow that pathway – but I had too many fears.
Although I healed remarkably well (according to the doctor), after my operations, many fears and attachments caused me mental torture. One fear I struggled with in particular, was the fear of moving away from my own belief system. This was made worse by my reluctance to speak openly of my anguish. Although my family was understanding and very caring, their quiet resistance to Falun Dafa in general, stopped me from sharing my fears. I felt that anything I said may have been misconstrued and blame laid on Falun Dafa for my seemingly disorientated state of mind. In my heart, I knew that the book had the answers and that only I could work through them. I understood the concept of ‘abandoning attachments’, yet my attachment to fear was very difficult to overcome.
Still, quiet resistance towards Falun Dafa by family members persisted in my household. Then when my daughter walked to Canberra in public support of ‘SOS – stop
China’s persecution of Falun Gong practitioners, I knew that my family no longer could remain distant and untouched. My support of her action led to a further strengthening of my resolve towards becoming a practitioner, and pride in her amazing achievement began to penetrate the barrier of quiet family resistance. Since then, her open and at times, courageous efforts as a Falun Dafa practitioner have for us, lifted most barriers. Now, the words ‘Falun Gong’ bring joy to my heart along with a new meaning to life and an understanding of the trials we must endure.
Obviously, my experience had complexities that took time to work through. However, I chose to regularly read Zhuan Falun and practise the exercises. In time, the seemingly complex situations became less complex due to the practise of the gentle exercises, meditation and attention to the principles of truthfulness, compassion and forbearance. My positive outlook soon reflected in my daily life. In simple terms it is fine to be a good person but being clear about what pathway one chooses is also important.
An Australian Practitioner
Posting date: 15/Apr/2003
Original article date: 15/Apr/2003
Category: Cultivation Stories
